Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Fantasy Update 9/17

I've decided to start every Fantasy Sports weekly update with the tag line "As if you care...", effective immediately. Without further ado...

As if you care...


I'm pleased to report that I advanced in all of my playoff races last week.

On, the Cubby Bears of Detroit 135861 won the first two week playoff round by a score of 7 - 3 over my division rival (and one of only two teams to beat me all year) cubs suck. Alex Rios, Adrian Gonzalez, and Jorge Cantu all came up big for the Bears with each player belting 4 homers and raking double-digit RBI. Cliff Lee (pictured) was my best pitcher, gaining 3 much needed wins and putting up 12 Ks and a microscopic 1.82 ERA and 0.92 WHIP. Edinson Volquez did not bring a win to the table, but he did produce a jaw dropping 32 Ks. He'll be one of the first 10 pitchers selected next year for sure. At the start of the two week final, the Bears are down 7 - 2 - 1 to Division 1 champ Rocky Hardman. I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not a little worried right now, but there is still a lot of ball to play. I really want to win this league, considering I dominated it all season long.

Let's Pet Puppies
of Yahoo Public League 198023 won decisively over bottomoftheninth to advance to the 2 week final. The Puppies won every category but 2, tying in stolen bases and conceding the point for ERA. I generally don't care about ERA in fantasy baseball. I prefer to go for wins, strikeouts, and saves. These are much more tangible quantities and it's much safer to bet on a pitcher gett
ing 5 or 6 Ks than it is to bet that he'll post an ERA under 3.00. That's just my philosophy when it comes to pitchers. I rarely win the ERA point but I hardly ever lose the K point. David Wright was tops offensively last week with 7 hits, 4 homers, 9 RBI, and a stolen base, all the time hitting at a staggering .632. David Wright is awesome. The Pups pitcher of the week was easily Carlos Zambrano, due to the 10 K no hitter he laid on Houston. Way to go, Big Z. Currently, the Puppies hold a 6 - 2 lead over MADDSKILLZ in the first week of the finals.

The Rentals of Yahoo Winner League 288574 won 6 - 3 over da one to make the finals. The team's success last week is mostly due to Nate McLouth's 9 RBI and Jimmy Rollins' 4 stolen bases. It was not such good week for Rentals pitching. Jonathan Papelbon's (pictured) 3 saves contributed a much needed point to this close matchup, though his accompanying ERA, a dismal 8.31, coupled with Mike Pelfrey's even worse posting of 9.00 almost lost me the ERA point. Amazingly enough, it didn't. The Rentals are currently leading Polish Piper 5 - 2 midway through week 1.

My lone roto team in NL Only, The Shams, currently hold 2nd place, though there are two other teams close behind and positions switch seemingly every other day. SACRED G sits atop the leader board by a huge margin of 11 points; most likely an insurmountable lead. Nontheless, I added two Pirates to the roster, Ian Snell and Nyjer Morgan, to replace some non-producers and hopefully secure 2nd place at the end of the season.

Only 12 more days of the 2008 MLB regular season, and therefore only 12 more days of Fantasy Baseball. I'm sure you're relieved. I know I am.



In BIG WILLY'S FOOTBALL LEAGUE, my Shamrocks improved to 2 - 0, putting up an impressive 214 points to beat 101 Henry Kids. Phillip Rivers and Calvin Johnson produced big numbers and pretty much carried my team. Greg Olsen better do something soon or I'll have to find another TE. Th
e search for a third option at RB continues. Also, I cut ties with Drew Bennett and my sleeper pick Rashied Davis. Thanks for the 22 receiving yards, Rashied. Some sleeper you turned out to be. Just more proof that the preseason means nothing. I replaced those two losers with Jason McKie, who vultured a TD from Matt Forte the second week in a row, and former Redskin Brandon Lloyd, who appears to be Kyle Orton's favorite target.

In Taylor Christiano's Group, my Shamecocks improved to 1 - 1, walloping
DarkDarsh to the tune of 118.74 - 77.70 (stupid annoying, yet so precise). I have a serious man crush on Aaron Rodgers, who performed head and shoulders above the rest of my team. I would really like to move Chad Johnson while I can. I bet someone is willing to buy low on his big name. I could use an upgrade at WR and I'm sure I could get someone quality for Chad. I'm considering dropping Rashard Mendenhall for Jason McKie, Tim Hightower, or some other vulture since Willie Parker is finishing his own drives this year. In other RB news, Jonathan Stewart (pictured) looked awesome last week.

Finally, in Yahoo Public 543788, The Shams (2 - 0) completed my sweep in Yahoo leagues with a 113 - 67 win over gangstas ZEK & A-DUB (seriously, their logo is a picture of two guys I would not want to fuck with). To be fair to Zek (and A-Dub), they played two players who were in the Ravens/Texans game that got postponed at the last minute due to damage from Hurricane Ike. That being said, unless Andre Johnson and Willis McGahee both had huge games, I probably still would have wupped their asses. Jay Cutler can be my baby daddy any day, as long as he continues to put up 30+ points per week, and Brian Westbrook continues to perform like the fantasy god that he is, giving me another 27 points. Those two alone almost beat the gangstas. On the other end of the spectrum, Vernon Davis needs to stop sucking before I kick him to the curb. As a matter of fact, fuck it. Bye bye, Vernon. Hello, John Carlson. Also, Aaron Rodgers was just sitting there on the FA wire. Is anyone even paying attention? So long, Matt Hasselbeck. Hello, Amazing Aaron. Furthermore, I'm giving Jamal Lewis two more weeks to shape up. There are too many good players available in this league to have him stink up my bench. This team is going all the way. Honestly...Rodgers a free agent? After those first two weeks???


In ACL I, my moves after my dismal week 1 showing seemed to do good as I improved to 1 - 1 with a skimpy 104 - 96 victory over Team Schabach. I was lucky. Schabach took a play from Zek & A-Dub's playbook and played Andre Johnson this week. If Andre had had even a mediocre game, I would be 0 - 2. In addition to the aformentioned Amazing Aaron (eat your heart out, Jim Gasque), Clinton Portis and Calvin Johnson both put up double digits for me. Schabach wouldn't have been close if it weren't for Anquan Boldin's monster week. 34 points from a WR? Ryan Longwell's big week helped me out a lot too, though. I can't expect 18 points from my kicker every week. The Chargers gave me -2 points on defense. -2. Thanks a lot assholes. The best option for a replacement on the FA wire are the Redskins defense, and while I am a Skins fan, I don't think I want to rely on them to win my fantasy league. Ryan Grant was a disappointment this week, since he was supposed to put up big numbers against the Lions paltry Run D. I really hope he gets healthy quickly. Meanwhile Warrick Dunn has 12 points on my bench. Asshole. Why didn't he tell me he was going to score this week? Just in case you're wondering, I am still pissed about the Matt Cassel waiver debacle, especially since this week my waiver position is 7 and there are quite a few players (like Darren Sproles, Brandon Jackson, Chansi Stuckey, Nick Folk, Gus Frerotte [pictured], J.T. O'Sullivan, and Michael Bush).

Lastly, in Jacksonville 643149, Let's Pet Puppies were simply outplayed by Root Canal 95 - 109 and fell to 1 - 1. It's not that my team played poorly, it's just that his team played really well.
His TE, Defense, and Kicker all posted double digits, and Kurt Warner had a big Sunday. For my squad, Westbrook delivered of course, and Donovan McNabb and Reggie Wayne were the other major contributors. I'm hoping to grab John Carlson, David Patten, and Justin Gage while parting ways with Dante Rosario, Sidney Rice, and D.J. Hackett. I'd also like to replace my Eagles D with the Titans sexy defense. Hopefully, at least two of those waivers will process.


Games to Watch

Dallas Cowboys @ Green Bay Packers

Romo and the 'Boys are 2
- 0. So are Rodgers and the Pack. Just like last week's Eagles/Cowboys game, this could be an early taste of what the playoffs have in store.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Philadelphia Eagles

The battle for Pennsylvania should be a great matchup as both teams are at or near the top of their respective league. Ben Roethlisberger (pictured) vs. Donovan McNabb should be just as exciting (if not more so) than McNabb vs. Romo last week. And the Eagles will have to match up against that stingy Steeler D, who promise to be a bit tougher than the Cowboys.

New York Jets @ San Diego Chargers

Brett Favre visits the West Coast as his Jets try to improve to 2 - 1. Meanwhile...the Chargers are 0 -2? I'm sure they'll be praying for better officiating this time.


Player of the Week

Tyler Thigpen - QB, Kansas City Chiefs
Thigpen is the only player to ever be drafted out of the Big South Conference and Coastal Carolina University (though he probably won't be the last with the program they're building out there). He hails from Winnsboro, SC and attended Fairfield Central High School, where he was a running back. This former Big South Player of the Year is making his first NFL start after throwing for 151 yards, 1 interception, and his first NFL touchdown last week against the Oakland Raiders. Good luck, Tyler! You're gonna need it! The Chiefs really suck!