Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals

Who knew PETA had a (dark) sense of humor?

If you're a fan of the Cooking Mama games like I am, you'll definitely appreciate this morbid take on the franchise.
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has Mama going berserk on a poor turkey in preparation for her family's Thanksgiving feast, aptly titled Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals. It looks like Majesco had no hand in this (the game is "unauthorized") so I don't know how long it will be up on peta.org. That means you should play it before it's too late!

The gameplay matches up identically with its DS counterparts (I haven't played the Wii version but I'll be sure to grab it when it's in the bargain bin) except you're using a mouse and not a stylus (or Wiimote). You remove the feathers, rip out the organs, stuff the shit out of it, cut its fucking head off...hell, you even make some grotesque giblet gravy! It's broken up into stages like the original games are and you're rated for your efficiency with points and phrases like "Don't be a saint!", "Too Nice!", and "Meaner than Mama!". After successfully completing each stage, you're treated with a fun factoid about turkey farming in the US and given the opportunity to watch videos of turkey slaughters and other hilarious (read: horrible) things. Joy!

SPOILER ALERT!!!
If you're especially quick (read: brutal) about all of this, you unlock a secret stage at the end titled "Mama Loves Animals" where you crumble up some tofu, shape it into a blob, baste some brown goop onto it, and throw it in the oven. Bing! Tofurkey! You're rewarded for going vegan with a beautiful montage of Mama loving up a turkey in front of a glorious rainbow! Homosexual!

Seriously though, hats off to PETA and Majesco for this ingenious collaboration. The dream team manages to inform about the serious atrocities committed in order to put the turkey on the table AND entertain at the same time. You know what that is? That's art, right there. That's a mirror, society! Take a good look!

Anyway, I know I'll still be biting into some bird (ha) on Turkey Day. Hypocritical? You bet I am. But does anyone really like tofurkey?

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