Fantasy Baseball 2008: The Final Insult

It's over. Thank God.

It's been a long and frustrating season and I'm glad to see this one come to end. It didn't end with a slow burn but rather with a bang. I was in three finals and one heated race for second place. I came out on top once. One out of four ain't bad, but it sure is disappointing.

The Rentals steamrolled through the playoffs in Yahoo Winner 288574 and defeated Polish Piper 6 -2. It was an unexciting victory. I led this league all year long and was never down to Piper at any point during our two week playoff. Also, this was the league I cared LEAST about. But I won it. Yippee.

My Cubby Bears in ESPN lost a real nail-biter. I was down by a large margin to Rocky Hardman all throughout our two week final, but I pulled dead even with him on a couple of days in the final week. When the dust cleared, he was the winner by a 6 - 4 margin. I have to say that had he not picked up Odalis Perez on Sunday morning and gotten the 5 Ks he provided, I would have won the strikeout column. That would have put us at a 5 - 5 tie, and because I was leading in ERA, the tiebreaking category, the win would've gone to me. Unfortunately, in ESPN, you can pick up and drop players instantly, which is more realistic, but a little annoying. Had I chosen to do the same and pick up a pitcher or two on the last day to pad my stats, maybe the story would be different... but I believe that to be a cheap tactic (which I will discuss later, boy will I ever) so I did not do it. I really wanted to win this league, but I will not begrudge him the victory. It was hard fought. He led through the entire matchup. It was a miracle that my team fough back to contend and he probably should've won. Bastard.

The Shams floundered right to the end. After leading NL Only for pretty much the entire season, I slipped into a battle for first place for about a month and then, with about three weeks remaining, fell into a struggle for 4th. I lost said struggle and ended up finishing 5th. This was a major disappointment. After drafting what I thought to be a shitty team (I'm never drafting Bill Hall again, ever), I was in second place for the first few weeks and then shot up to first, holding almost a 20 point lead at one point. I had a stranglehold on this league until about midway through August when I began to be challenged by Medfield Monarchs. My team slowly but surely got worser and worser and the result is what you see here. Oh well. I hate roto. Fuck it.

And now here's the kicker. I had the chance to win it all in Yahoo Public 198023. My beloved Let's Pet Puppies were down 6 -4 going into the final day and I had the lead in ERA. All I needed was to tie MADDSKILLZ in one category and victory would be mine. Much like the NL Only league, I dominated this league all. year. long. As a matter of fact, out of 22 weeks of regular season matchups, I only had 5 losses and 2 ties. I dominated. MADDSKILLZ did not slip in any of his categories and I couldn't put up the numbers to catch him in a category, so I lost. But what made the loss really insulting is that he felt he needed to CHEAT to assure the victory. This asshole engaged in a practice we call "streaming" which is adding probable pitchers for only the day they are scheduled to pitch in order to pad your pitching stats. This douchebag added SEVEN starting pitchers to his lineup for the final day. They gave him an additional 3 wins and 31 Ks. Now, as I said, I wouldn't have caught him in Ks or wins anyway, but it made me so angry that he thought he had to resort to cheating in order to beat me that I was just as pissed as if it had actually mattered in deciding the outcome. Boys and girls: do not stream. It's fucking lame. Man up and play with some ethics. Maybe I'm asking too much, but I would never engage in this kind of activity.

And that brings the 2008 Fantasy Baseball season to a close. I'm glad to see it go, and I'm ready to get some serious fucking revenge next year. Game on, bitches.
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Fantasy Baseball 2008 MVP

Nate McLouth

Duh. McLouth was the surprise of the season and I had him on my teams early. He delivered solid production in every category throughout the year. Here's hoping the Pirates don't give the evil Yankees their wish and trade him over. Way to go Nate!

Fantasy Update 9/17

I've decided to start every Fantasy Sports weekly update with the tag line "As if you care...", effective immediately. Without further ado...

As if you care...
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Baseball

I'm pleased to report that I advanced in all of my playoff races last week.

On ESPN.com, the Cubby Bears of Detroit 135861 won the first two week playoff round by a score of 7 - 3 over my division rival (and one of only two teams to beat me all year) cubs suck. Alex Rios, Adrian Gonzalez, and Jorge Cantu all came up big for the Bears with each player belting 4 homers and raking double-digit RBI. Cliff Lee (pictured) was my best pitcher, gaining 3 much needed wins and putting up 12 Ks and a microscopic 1.82 ERA and 0.92 WHIP. Edinson Volquez did not bring a win to the table, but he did produce a jaw dropping 32 Ks. He'll be one of the first 10 pitchers selected next year for sure. At the start of the two week final, the Bears are down 7 - 2 - 1 to Division 1 champ Rocky Hardman. I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not a little worried right now, but there is still a lot of ball to play. I really want to win this league, considering I dominated it all season long.

Let's Pet Puppies of Yahoo Public League 198023 won decisively over bottomoftheninth to advance to the 2 week final. The Puppies won every category but 2, tying in stolen bases and conceding the point for ERA. I generally don't care about ERA in fantasy baseball. I prefer to go for wins, strikeouts, and saves. These are much more tangible quantities and it's much safer to bet on a pitcher getting 5 or 6 Ks than it is to bet that he'll post an ERA under 3.00. That's just my philosophy when it comes to pitchers. I rarely win the ERA point but I hardly ever lose the K point. David Wright was tops offensively last week with 7 hits, 4 homers, 9 RBI, and a stolen base, all the time hitting at a staggering .632. David Wright is awesome. The Pups pitcher of the week was easily Carlos Zambrano, due to the 10 K no hitter he laid on Houston. Way to go, Big Z. Currently, the Puppies hold a 6 - 2 lead over MADDSKILLZ in the first week of the finals.

The Rentals of Yahoo Winner League 288574 won 6 - 3 over da one to make the finals. The team's success last week is mostly due to Nate McLouth's 9 RBI and Jimmy Rollins' 4 stolen bases. It was not such good week for Rentals pitching. Jonathan Papelbon's (pictured) 3 saves contributed a much needed point to this close matchup, though his accompanying ERA, a dismal 8.31, coupled with Mike Pelfrey's even worse posting of 9.00 almost lost me the ERA point. Amazingly enough, it didn't. The Rentals are currently leading Polish Piper 5 - 2 midway through week 1.

My lone roto team in NL Only, The Shams, currently hold 2nd place, though there are two other teams close behind and positions switch seemingly every other day. SACRED G sits atop the leader board by a huge margin of 11 points; most likely an insurmountable lead. Nontheless, I added two Pirates to the roster, Ian Snell and Nyjer Morgan, to replace some non-producers and hopefully secure 2nd place at the end of the season.

Only 12 more days of the 2008 MLB regular season, and therefore only 12 more days of Fantasy Baseball. I'm sure you're relieved. I know I am.
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Football

Yahoo!

In BIG WILLY'S FOOTBALL LEAGUE, my Shamrocks improved to 2 - 0, putting up an impressive 214 points to beat 101 Henry Kids. Phillip Rivers and Calvin Johnson produced big numbers and pretty much carried my team. Greg Olsen better do something soon or I'll have to find another TE. The search for a third option at RB continues. Also, I cut ties with Drew Bennett and my sleeper pick Rashied Davis. Thanks for the 22 receiving yards, Rashied. Some sleeper you turned out to be. Just more proof that the preseason means nothing. I replaced those two losers with Jason McKie, who vultured a TD from Matt Forte the second week in a row, and former Redskin Brandon Lloyd, who appears to be Kyle Orton's favorite target.

In Taylor Christiano's Group, my Shamecocks improved to 1 - 1, walloping DarkDarsh to the tune of 118.74 - 77.70 (stupid decimals...so annoying, yet so precise). I have a serious man crush on Aaron Rodgers, who performed head and shoulders above the rest of my team. I would really like to move Chad Johnson while I can. I bet someone is willing to buy low on his big name. I could use an upgrade at WR and I'm sure I could get someone quality for Chad. I'm considering dropping Rashard Mendenhall for Jason McKie, Tim Hightower, or some other vulture since Willie Parker is finishing his own drives this year. In other RB news, Jonathan Stewart (pictured) looked awesome last week.

Finally, in Yahoo Public 543788, The Shams (2 - 0) completed my sweep in Yahoo leagues with a 113 - 67 win over gangstas ZEK & A-DUB (seriously, their logo is a picture of two guys I would not want to fuck with). To be fair to Zek (and A-Dub), they played two players who were in the Ravens/Texans game that got postponed at the last minute due to damage from Hurricane Ike. That being said, unless Andre Johnson and Willis McGahee both had huge games, I probably still would have wupped their asses. Jay Cutler can be my baby daddy any day, as long as he continues to put up 30+ points per week, and Brian Westbrook continues to perform like the fantasy god that he is, giving me another 27 points. Those two alone almost beat the gangstas. On the other end of the spectrum, Vernon Davis needs to stop sucking before I kick him to the curb. As a matter of fact, fuck it. Bye bye, Vernon. Hello, John Carlson. Also, Aaron Rodgers was just sitting there on the FA wire. Is anyone even paying attention? So long, Matt Hasselbeck. Hello, Amazing Aaron. Furthermore, I'm giving Jamal Lewis two more weeks to shape up. There are too many good players available in this league to have him stink up my bench. This team is going all the way. Honestly...Rodgers a free agent? After those first two weeks???

ESPN

In ACL I, my moves after my dismal week 1 showing seemed to do good as I improved to 1 - 1 with a skimpy 104 - 96 victory over Team Schabach. I was lucky. Schabach took a play from Zek & A-Dub's playbook and played Andre Johnson this week. If Andre had had even a mediocre game, I would be 0 - 2. In addition to the aformentioned Amazing Aaron (eat your heart out, Jim Gasque), Clinton Portis and Calvin Johnson both put up double digits for me. Schabach wouldn't have been close if it weren't for Anquan Boldin's monster week. 34 points from a WR? Ryan Longwell's big week helped me out a lot too, though. I can't expect 18 points from my kicker every week. The Chargers gave me -2 points on defense. -2. Thanks a lot assholes. The best option for a replacement on the FA wire are the Redskins defense, and while I am a Skins fan, I don't think I want to rely on them to win my fantasy league. Ryan Grant was a disappointment this week, since he was supposed to put up big numbers against the Lions paltry Run D. I really hope he gets healthy quickly. Meanwhile Warrick Dunn has 12 points on my bench. Asshole. Why didn't he tell me he was going to score this week? Just in case you're wondering, I am still pissed about the Matt Cassel waiver debacle, especially since this week my waiver position is 7 and there are quite a few players (like Darren Sproles, Brandon Jackson, Chansi Stuckey, Nick Folk, Gus Frerotte [pictured], J.T. O'Sullivan, and Michael Bush).

Lastly, in Jacksonville 643149, Let's Pet Puppies were simply outplayed by Root Canal 95 - 109 and fell to 1 - 1. It's not that my team played poorly, it's just that his team played really well. His TE, Defense, and Kicker all posted double digits, and Kurt Warner had a big Sunday. For my squad, Westbrook delivered of course, and Donovan McNabb and Reggie Wayne were the other major contributors. I'm hoping to grab John Carlson, David Patten, and Justin Gage while parting ways with Dante Rosario, Sidney Rice, and D.J. Hackett. I'd also like to replace my Eagles D with the Titans sexy defense. Hopefully, at least two of those waivers will process.

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Games to Watch

Dallas Cowboys @ Green Bay Packers
Romo and the 'Boys are 2 - 0. So are Rodgers and the Pack. Just like last week's Eagles/Cowboys game, this could be an early taste of what the playoffs have in store.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Philadelphia Eagles
The battle for Pennsylvania should be a great matchup as both teams are at or near the top of their respective league. Ben Roethlisberger (pictured) vs. Donovan McNabb should be just as exciting (if not more so) than McNabb vs. Romo last week. And the Eagles will have to match up against that stingy Steeler D, who promise to be a bit tougher than the Cowboys.

New York Jets @ San Diego Chargers
Brett Favre visits the West Coast as his Jets try to improve to 2 - 1. Meanwhile...the Chargers are 0 -2? I'm sure they'll be praying for better officiating this time.

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Player of the Week

Tyler Thigpen - QB, Kansas City Chiefs
Thigpen is the only player to ever be drafted out of the Big South Conference and Coastal Carolina University (though he probably won't be the last with the program they're building out there). He hails from Winnsboro, SC and attended Fairfield Central High School, where he was a running back. This former Big South Player of the Year is making his first NFL start after throwing for 151 yards, 1 interception, and his first NFL touchdown last week against the Oakland Raiders. Good luck, Tyler! You're gonna need it! The Chiefs really suck!

Fantasy Update

As if you care.

Baseball

My ESPN team, the Cubby Bears, goes into the second week of the first round of the playoffs (confused yet?) solidly in the lead. No worries here. I expect to move onto the finals, and I expect to win.

My Shamrocks, in BIG WILLY'S BASEBALL LEAGUE (yes, he made the title screaming)on Yahoo! were bounced after the first round of the playoffs by a team named *gulp* Sally Palin Fan! . I really, really hope this isn't a sign of things to come. I can't decide if I'm more pissed off by losing to someone who is not only a Republican but also actually likes and finds credibility in Sarah Palin (pictured), or if I'm angrier that the Shamrocks squandered what was at one point a 12 - 1 lead only to lose 6 - 8. Whatever. Fuck that league.

My Yahoo! Public league teams, Let's Pet Puppies and The Rentals, are in their first week of playoffs after resting on a bye all last week. At midweek, the Puppies are up 5 - 4 and The Rentals are down 3 - 7 (and it's not looking good). Here's hoping those two teams pull it out.

My lone roto team this year, The Shams, are vying for 2nd place in the NL Only league. Currently, I sit in third place, 2 points out of second and 14.5 points out of first. Winning this league is looking more and more like an impossibility. And to think I led the league for 3/4 of the season. Blast!

Football

An up and down first week.

My ESPN teams split, with the Chicago Shamecocks of the ACL I League losing (badly) and posting the lowest score of any team in the league (just 44 points). Putting McGahee in proved to be foolish as he didn't touch the field all day. Also, Dallas Clark and Vince Young both came up lame during their respective games. I made some moves in the first week, including trading away McGahee and Reggie Bush for Aaron Rodgers (pictured) and Ryan Grant. Rodgers looked solid in his debut and I needed a safe bet QB with Young injured and Schaub playing for the Texans. I also sold high on Bush, betting that he will continue to be streaky this year and Grant will be the more solid option. I could care less about McGahee. My ace in the hole in this league is my number one waiver position, which I have (I believe) brilliantly spent on getting Matt Cassel, Brady's replacement, this week. Either he or Schaub will be great trade bait to shore up my RB or WR positions. My moves this week have given me hope that this team could turn out ok.

(EDIT: Just found out that my waiver claim was denied due to position limits. So if I had just dropped Vince Young instead of Devin Thomas, I would have Cassel on my team. Instead, my number one waiver position remains and I don't have the valuable trading commodity I wanted (and needed) so badly. Fucking lame.)

My Let's Pet Puppies team in the ESPN public league pulled off an impressive 107 - 79 victory in week one, good for second best in the league. The win is mostly attributable to the outstanding play of Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook, but almost my entire team contributed double digits, including Robbie Gould, the Eagles' D/ST, Thomas Jones, and of course, Reggie Wayne. Jake Delhomme had a solid game on my bench, and Chris Johnson totally lived up to the hype and I can't believe I snatched him off the FA wire after the draft. He made the starting lineup this week. I cut ties with Alge Crumpler because he looks like the #2 TE in Tennessee after last week. I replaced him with Dante Rosario, the Panthers' surprising young TE who caaught the game winning TD last week in one of his 7 receptions for 96 yards. I'm feeling good about this team. This league seems very inactive though. No one has made any trades and only a few people made waiver claims after week one. I'm worried that a good chunk of the other owners will give up after week 4, making the fantasy game a lot less fun to play.

In my Yahoo! leagues, I won 2 matchups and lost the third.

In BIG WILLY'S FOOTBALL LEAGUE (yes, he screams for football too) my Shamrocks posted 174 points, good for 5th best in the league, in their victory over the Humpin' Monkeys. I was an underdog last week, and the stellar play of Phillip Rivers and the surprising production by Antwaan Randle El led me to the win. I still need to grab another RB. Steven Jackson and Jamal Lewis are not enough to last me all season, especially in a league where I can play up to 4 RBs at one time. I don't have all that much worth trading either.

The Shamecocks in Taylor Christiano's league were my other losing team this week, falling 108.90 - 138.64 to CrazyCarl (He's crazy). In my defense, Carl had both McNabb and Willie Parker this week and it's pretty hard to compete with that production. Those two alone outscored my Chicago Shamecocks of ESPN. I still like this team a lot. I'll have Chris Johnson in there this week, and I replaced Crumpler with Rosario in this league as well. I can't really see any glaring need that this team has.

My final team, The Shams, in a Yahoo! public league won 111 - 89 on the back of Jay Cutler's great game on MNF against the sorry looking Raiders. I was one point down heading into Monday because my top playmakers Brian Westbrook and Willie Parker were eclipsed by his top scorers Drew Brees and Reggie Bush. But Cutler's terrific performance (and the fact that he had Oakland's D) pushed me over the top. I like my chances in this league because the other owners all appear to be inept. I was able to pick up rookie heartthrobs Eddie Royal and Chris Johnson (dropping Donald Driver and Ray Rice, for better or for worse) and replace the ailing Todd Heap with last week's standout TE (once again, a round of applause for) Dante Rosario. I also kicked Seattle's D/ST to the curb after last week's dreadful performance in exchange for Buffalo's D/ST (featuring my GF's high school classmate Paul Posluszny). Again,I can't see any improvements I need to make to this team.

Key Matchups

Ryan Grant (pictured) at Detroit
The Lions got torched by Michael Turner (The Burner) and Co. last week to the tune of 318 yards on the ground alone.

Jay Cutler vs. San Diego
San Diego's prized defense just got a little less scary with Shawne Merriman gone "Lights Out" for the season. Jake Delhomme had a great return to football last week against the Chargers while Cutler carved up the Raiders for 300 yards and 2 TDs.

Minnesota at Indianapolis
After last week's disappointing starts for both teams, it will be interesting to see which team wants their first win more. Matt Forte ran all over the Colts' D last week; will Purple Jesus do the same? Will Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Joseph Addai, and the rest of the Colt's drool-worthy offense be able to get anything done against the Vikings' highly-touted D when they were shut down by the apparently underrated Bears last week?

Game of the Week

Philadelphia at Dallas
In what could be a preview of the NFC title game, the Eagles come off last week's high flying win over the Rams to play against an all around great Cowboys team that was equally impressive on the road in a win over Cleveland. Donovan McNabb (pictured) will not be able to throw on the 'Boys the way he did against the Rams. Will Philly have an answer for Tony Romo and his favorite targets, T.O. and Jason Witten? This'un should be a good'un.

Fantasy Baseball Playoffs

Out of the 7 leagues I joined this year (overkill...I vow to do less next season), 6 leagues had playoffs, and I made the cut in 4 of them. Not bad, though the leagues I missed the cut in are by far the most challenging ones with the most knowledgeable contenders. I'll definitely be participating in those next year (if I'm invited...I'm finishing dead last and next to last in those two) because I really think they're helping me get better.

In my NL only league, I've dismally dropped into a battle for third place, 10 points behind the leader, after spending literally the entire season at the top of the heap. I don't know where I went wrong (though dropping Reed Johnson (pictured) probably hurt more than I thought it would, even if he has continued to platoon in center field) but I'm not happy about it.

I will continue to post updates here...until then...

Fantasy Baseball: The Home Stretch

This post is dedicated to Pittsburgh Pirates' center fielder Nate McLouth (pictured), one of the biggest surprises in baseball this season and a Godsend to many of my Fantasy Teams.

As you may well know, I am a bit of a Fantasy Baseball addict. As a matter of fact, I have seven (7) teams this year: six (6) on Yahoo! and one (1) on ESPN. I finally realize that this is a bit of an overkill. I will probably limit myself to only four (4) teams a year from now on (I'll try to limit myself, but we all know I'm not so great at that).

The Fantasy Baseball season winds down (or winds up) at the end of August in order to have playoffs in September. MLB's playoffs begin (and usually end) in October, and with only eight (8) teams making the playoffs, this would put quite a damper on most people's fantasy production. Therefore, Fantasy Baseball is over at the end of September. There are only two weeks left in the Fantasy regular season.

Here are the current standings for all of my teams in the 2008 Fantasy season:

ESPN
Cubby Bears - Detroit 135861
126 - 61 - 13
1st place in Division 2, 1st place in League

Yahoo!
Shamrocks - Big Willy's Baseball League
161 - 130 - 29
5th place, 18 games back

Let's Pet Puppies - Yahoo Public 198023
115 - 69 - 15
1st place, 5.5 games ahead

The Shams - Vitamin B Behind Me
81 - 96 - 13
6th place, 45.5 games back (1 game back from playoffs)

The Shams - NL Only (Rotisserie)
78.5 Points
3rd place, 2 points back

Murphy's Law - Our Other Teams Are Too Good (AL Only)
77 - 100 - 13
7th place, 49.5 games back (8.5 games back from playoffs)

The Rentals - Yahoo Winner 288574
110 - 58 - 12
2nd Place, 2.5 games back

Overall, it's been a good fantasy season. The two leagues I'm doing worst in are the two most challenging leagues I'm playing in as well. I hope to make the playoffs in the Vitamin B Behind Me league. The other one (Our Other Teams Are Too Good) is probably a lost cause, barring a miracle.
I expect to win my ESPN league and I hope to win at least two of my Yahoo! leagues. Come playoffs, anything can happen. It's a whole new ballgame.
The one I want to win most is the NL Only league. I had a comfortable (read: ginormous) lead all year long in that league, and over the last month, two other players have caught up to me. The three of us keep swapping the top spot day after day. I'm hoping that when the smoke clears, the league will be mine.
I'm starting to gain some confidence in my skill as a Fantasy Baseball manager and I look forward to the playoffs, but even more so to Fantasy Football season!!!